I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
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