Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just gargled with NyQuil
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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