Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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