So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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