if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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