I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
