Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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