Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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