.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
The Olympian is in my bed
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
