woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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