allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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