Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
