The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
