id be glad to
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
