What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
