I'll bet she douches with gravy.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Randomize
