Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
