when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
