I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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