Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
