Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
