why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
