I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
