Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
