I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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