Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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