You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
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My thoughts exactly.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
