Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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