3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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