There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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