spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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