i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
