I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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