Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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