Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
