she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
