I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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