when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
