omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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