guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
