A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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