I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
