Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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