you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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