I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
we're so committed to being not committed
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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