dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
