so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
