I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
