hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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