she was so not down for the gang bang
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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