Kareoke will never be a sober sport
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
