she was so not down for the gang bang
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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